in which life is put into perspective

3 Jun

i have been quiet for a bit.

i took an unplanned, emotional week off from running and from life in general to start to come to terms with the terminal illness of a friend.

a friend who is my age. i am questioning mortality and thinking about life.

i have told several important  people in my life what they mean to me.

i have a list of people that have hurt me in varying aspects of life that i will decide if i release them out of my life or if i forgive.

i have started saying thank you.  think about it.  how often do you hear the words “thank you” — or how often do you say it, yourself?

i have started to let the smaller things roll off my back.  i am learning to let the larger things drift off, too.

i am trying to be less bitter and “pissy” (as my mother would often say) about things and am complaining less.

i have a wonderful husband who is supportive and loving.  someone i love more and more every day.  i have a caring sister and brother in law.

i have my health. but you know what — every day someone is fighting to survive.

************************************************

*a little run talk*

yesterday i met up with my girl to go run 5 miles for our long run saturday.  we walked most of it.  mainly because we were talking and mostly because she is also dealing with the same situation.

it was nice to be outside and i used yesterday as a reset and to enjoy the art of movement. post run and post coffee, i treated myself to a new pair of ravenna’s.  the wear on the tread at the ball of my foot on each shoe was bad.  i didn’t realize how far gone the shoe was until i tried on the new pair.  i think they probably needed to be replaced well over a month ago.  but  those shoes were special. ARE special.  i survived the color run in them when they were less than a month old and i was NOT about to throw them away.

they coined the phrase “but we have matching shoes.  nothing can stop us” – and gave me a PR for the 2012 Austin Half.

they’re stained pink from the color run. i think it gave them character.  they are relegated to the trunk of the car now, to be worn for an emergency run or to the park to play disk golf or go on a hike.

the new pair are shiny and blue. i like to think they’re full of hope.  in fact, i know they are.

i am considering a pair of cadence for speedwork.  they’re comfy.  my tuesdays with my running coach are consisting of speedwork so i would like a lighter shoe.  (thought the ravenna is a light shoe, the Pure line is brooks’ answer to “minimal” shoes).

how pink are these?? awesomely pink.  i did not buy the pair i tried on yesterday as they were black and purple.  no thanks.  the peach and white cadence are nice, too…

so………

there’s this painful event in my life that is only going to get worse.  and it took this event to make me reevaluate my life, put it in perspective and make some changes. i need to enjoy my life.  i need to worry less. because in the greater scheme of things, it’s fleeting. please dont wait for something devastating to happen to make you change your life for the better.

i cannot stress the importance of going outside.  get away from your computer, your phone, your texts, your instant messages, your facebook, your twitter, your whatever. life is short.  live it with those you love.

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thursday

31 May

life is really short.  it’s really too short to be surrounded by negativity or people that do not have a positive effect on your life.  or to keep people around that have hurt you in the past.

tell the people you care about that you do so.

you may not have the chance later.

support group

24 May

earlier this week I reflected on my first week of “serious” training and running without my race/running partner. there has been zero running for me this week as work has been busy and stressful AND i have been under the weather.

back to running…

background:

running is a solitary sport as much as it is a group activity.  i have, at least three times a week for a year, ran with the same woman by my side.  through thick and thin, through pain and wellness, though heartache and happiness, through rain and wind, through 112 degree temps and through 30 degree temps.  i have seen the sun rise with her and have been in pitch blackness under a highway bridge with her (and hobos).  we talk nonstop.  when one of us is quiet, nine chances out of ten the other is in some form of pain.  we run through it.  we talk each other through it.  she’s my running partner and she was out of commission last week and this week.

urgh.

now, further background:

the two of us are part of a larger group – we’re technically a group of four. in my total group of four, two are sick and out of commission.  this leaves me running with someone i am not used to running with.  someone whose pace is faster by a good two minutes on an easy run.  someone who i have less interaction with.

someone i ran with all last week.  his partner is out for a long while.  mine is only out for two weeks.

it was refreshing. it was also a little awkward and honestly, at times lonely. he slowed down a bit for me and walked when i needed to (because even his “slowing down” was still my pushing hard at an 8 minute mile).  i think he doesn’t want to run alone same as i don’t want to run alone.

having to run without my partner last week i have learned the following:

  • i am faster than i think i am or that i perceive myself to be.
  • i have zero core strength. need to work on that.
  • i am willing to adapt when taken out of my comfort zone.
  • i am ok being outside of my comfort zone.

i guess it’s all a learning experience.  growth and all of that.  but i am ready to be comfy again.

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wordless wednesday

23 May

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it should not hurt to answer the phone…

17 May

let’s start with a hip update, shall we?

my hip – dare i say it – is significantly better!  no pain and i am running without compression shorts.  tuesday night, my workout with my coach consisted of strides at the track while another girlie he trains did a 2 mile time trial.  i picked my pace up by a good minute on the “easy” run to the track and had no problems.  Then i was even able to do most of the running drills prior to doing strides – including being able to raise and hold my left knee to my chest without any pain.

(video here)

i was unable to do this up until about a few weeks ago.

tonight will be more of a test since i have 4 miles planned for a medium long run.  i should mention that the area isn’t ache free – there is still a sensation in the hip flexor area but it’s feeling a million times better.

i pushed myself on tuesday and was pleasantly surprised at how well i did. i ran a faster pace getting to the track (granted it was to keep up with one of my pals), ran strong strides and only wanted to vomit three times.  i am stoked about my new coach and the fact that he is going to make me fast (because he told me so) and that my training schedule is packed.  this is exactly what i have wanted.  it is a tad daunting but i am not one to be afraid of much.  (that’s both a blessing and a curse.  you know – like a super hero).

tuesday night  after our quality workout i had core work including medicine ball type tomfoolery.  (“floor slams” – because i want an enormous weighted ball flying up at my face) – i wasnt sore yesterday but i am today.  i hurt bending over, coughing, sitting up straight, slouching over, and twisting to answer the phone.  i’m severely weak in the old core area so while it’s welcomed, needed and will even help in my hip flexor situation — this is all going to ache in a bad, bad way.  throw in close to two minutes of planks and other mid evil torture type exercises and you’ve got yourself a whole package of hurt.

(i’d much rather have this expensive package of non-hurt)

i finished a time consuming project at work yesterday so last night I treated myself to wine and skittles.

(you guys, i’m so classy)

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hey, girl

11 May

(source)

i hate to admit it but these are really funny.  probably because i am a runner and also a girl so i can relate.  or something.

either way – this BLEW UP my twitter feed last night.

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first i was afraid, i was terrified…

9 May

injury status:  hip still isn’t healed but it’s better.  on a scale of percentages, im going to give it 70% out of 100% and i will take that.  there is no pain, but there is discomfort.  the discomfort level (without compression shorts which i did not wear last night) is tolerable.  so i am getting there.  *slowly*

now, on to other things.

last night my group of buds assembled back at rogue.  after greetings,warm fuzzys, hugs and proclaiming it felt like years since we saw each other (it’s been almost a month – but i see these two peeps three days a week mind you, so it’s like withdrawals when you go from seeing your friends three times a week to nothing a week) we nervously awaited the arrival of our new coach (who was milling about the workout room).  we discussed the burn out we each felt from the austin 1020 training we recently went through, the effectiveness of the coach (whom we all liked) and our not feeling like part of the group as a whole (coach aside. he was a good coach).

it’s great when everyone is on the same page.  it makes you feel some justification for the rotton feeling you have in the pit of your stomach!  i am not alone, misery loves company — that kinda thing.

so — honestly — we were scared last night.  not apprehensive.  scared. all three of us admitted that to each other (and eventually at the end of the workout to our coach) that we were scared of the new training.

(ghosts are pretty scary – but he’s cute!)

why?

we all feel like this new cycle is the “real deal” — and it is.  now, our coach is Rogue elite scotty macpherson (or “scotty mac” as he is known around rogue)- and this guy is FAST.  sub 5 minute mile fast (PB of 4.06/mile).  winning half marathons fast – how can one human be this fast, fast. so being around someone that is enormously successful (did i mention fast?) at something you love can be daunting.  i think we were all worried that this was also going to be kick your ass killer, i cant move for days training.

and it’s not (well, it will be to a degree. this won’t be a walk in the park.  it will be difficult and it frequently will be test more of my mental capabilities versus my physical strength).  scotty said that if we’re having an off day, let him know and he’ll modify our schedule.  if you feel shitty, you’re going to run shitty – so he’ll change it up so maybe you wont be doing as hard a workout as was on your plan.  (nice. also, that may have been a direct quote)

so, we assemble with others in our group and go through hand shakes and introductions.  it’s a small group. maybe 7 of us. each of us will have a tailored to you training plan depending on what you are training for and one on one access to mister scotty mac.  we’ll meet three times a week and all of us will be following a different plan/workout. one peep is training for the chicago marathon.  one wants to improve on the 5k.  so its a good bag-o-folks.

we were told that we’re going to be better runners, faster runners, stronger runners. that our form will improve, that our core strength will improve. (sign me up!!) and i believe it because i have seen it.  one of the ladies in the group started when i started my austin half training last year.  she was training for the full.  rogue had (or has) a program where you could raise funds and train with a Rogue elite.  she did and trained with scotty mac (and other elites when he was out).  she met on the same days that the rest of us met so we began recognizing each other by face and would make small talk.  she is now a MACHINE.  she looks good.  she’s fast.  so, i got to watch her evolve as a whole.  i saw her go from average, run of the mill runner to super awesome – and i can’t wait for that to be me.

(working on my posture. core work AT work!)

we did drills and some speedwork then went back to rogue.  by the way, speedwork after not running for a month isn’t a walk in the park.  even if all we did was straights and curves.  i still cramped up a tad and today am a bit sore.

i have made the decision (at least for me) that i will train with him and have him take me through training for san antonio.  i hope that this doesn’t break my group up and i dont think it will because i know my running mate is thinking the same thing i am. we discussed it briefly last night and are currently discussing by text now.

it feels good to feel good about something again.  that’s not the best sentence, but it reflects what i mean. i was really down on running and myself during the 1020 training.  the race itself didn’t go well.  and i cant say with any honesty that had i (or we) signed up and started the training with the rest of that group that we would have felt differently or assimilated with the others or whatever.

what’s done is done and it’s in the past.  you’re looking at now.  everything that happens now, is happening now. i am excited about now. i have a good support group of my running mates, friends, my husband and my family and i am ready to go and to change and to be positive about my running.  i can pump anyone up about their own running or race but frequently cannot get out of my own head when it comes to me.  time to change that as well.

i bought “Running the Edge – Discovering the Secrets to Better Running and a Better Life” by Adam Goucher.  (book review to follow).  it’s essentially a self help running book that’s a mental and physical package.

so it’s time to get better. stronger. faster. and it’s time to stop being afraid. unless you’re afraid of ghosts. or spiders.  that’s innate.

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May is Celiac Disease Awareness Month

2 May

may is celiac disease awareness month.

1 in 133 americans have celiac disease.  i am one of these estimated 133.  there is no pharmaceutical cure; the only existing treatment for celiac disease is a lifelong avoidance of gluten.  gluten is a protein contained in wheat, barley, rye and hops.  i would ask that you stop and think about all the products that contain WHEAT. (it’s a lot)  gluten is a frequent filler in vitamins and medication, too.  gluten is even in some cosmetics and body products.

(source)

life gluten free is difficult when you consider simply how the typical american eats.  fast food. on the go.  in our cars.

good news is more eating establishments are offering gluten free meals, more products are being labeled specifically as gluten free.  many products are naturally gluten free.  once you learn the lifestyle and learn to read nutrition labels being gluten free is not a daunting lifestyle change.

did you know there are more than 300 symptoms of celiac disease?  yup.

but that’s not what i want to talk about.

*steps on soap box*

i would like to take this opportunity to address one aspect that i see frequently regarding being gluten free.  people believe that being “gluten free” is a fad diet.  that being gluten free is like atkins or south beach — whatever fad diet is out there — and guess what – IT’S NOT.

to address weight loss — a celiac patient may lose weight in the beginning of their illness or diagnosis or be already thin because they are ILL.  remember, please – celiac disease.  the body is not absorbing vitamins, minerals, nutrients that come from food.

in my situation, i lost close to 20 pounds in a month at the height of my illness prior to being diagnosed.  you know how i lost that weight?  i was violently, violently ill after every meal – imagine feeling as if you have food poisoning after every meal you eat and within a very fast amount of time after eating.  imagine having to have your husband rush you in the car after leaving the restaurant to the closest toilet (no matter how clean or dirty that restroom is) because you are about to be ill and you dont know why.  that illness is my gluten reaction in the small intestine.  my diet consisted of breakfast tacos on flour tortillas.  sandwiches.  pasta for dinner. mcdonalds in a hurry.  my diet, like the typical american diet consisted of fast food and — wheat.

after blood testing, being diagnosed and eating the way i need to eat to be healthy, my weight stabilized and so did my health.  because i am one of the estimated 1 in every 133 americans clinically diagnosed with celiac disease.

if you do not have celiac disease, there are few reasons to eat gluten free.  people that believe it’s a diet to lose weight will become gluten free, stop eating gluten filled items (read: WHEAT BREAD processed CARBOHYDRATES) and lose weight.  sure.  ok.  if you’re not eating processed carbohydrates you’ll lose weight.  the atkins diet BANKED off of the idea of a low or no carbohydrate diet.

gluten free is not a fad diet.  this is a lifelong MEDICAL TREATMENT.  this is about HEALTH.

newsflash.  food that’s labeled gluten free doesn’t mean it’s good for you.    gluten free products could be higher in calories than regular “normal” food items.  i can have bread.  i can have crackers.  i can have cupcakes and cookies.  i can have reece’s peanut butter cups.  i can have 3 musketeers candy bars.  a cookie is a cookie is a cookie as is any dessert.  same old calories in/calories out kinda situation here – that is how you lose weight.  healthy, balanced, vegetable heavy,   minimally processed food lifestyle.

*steps off soap box*

it is my wish that the month of may brings attention to the disease as a whole for those that are diagnosed and yet to be diagnosed and not solely to the diet.  that eating gluten free is a way of life, for my (and our) health and not a fad diet that offers up some form of quick weight loss.

to read more about this digestive disease, the following resources are wonderful tools.  all discuss symptoms – and if you think you may have this disease, please visit with your good old doctor or a doctor of gastroenterology for diagnosis.  this will be a blood test and possibly a biopsy.  but i urge you to be tested should you suspect gluten intolerance.

celiac disease foundation

national foundation for celiac awareness

u.s. national library of medicine

mayo clinic

**stats from the National Foundation for Celiac Awareness (NFCA)

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excitement

2 May

i remember signing up for new semesters during my university decade.  (ok, i didnt go to college for a decade but at the time it seemed like it was and i had a lot of setbacks, including both a death and a severe illness in my family to contend with).

but it’s that feeling — going through the course book — picking out classes, getting organized and ready for something totally new…  knowing what you need to take and what you dont need… to me there was an excitement about that.

same thing for buying school supplies.

damn, if there wasn’t excitement in getting school supplies.  and again, i am talking about college.  tho, school supplies were loads of fun when you were a kid.  i still get kinda giddy when target puts out the area that the bulk supplies are going to go.  the wall of backpacks, the lunch boxes.

i have that kind of excitement now.  i registered yesterday for my interim training until san antonio training  and i am really looking forward to it.  i am worried about my hip not being healed but i am just going to continue to rehab it and hope it is considerably better or heals prior to July.  i am also not going to dwell on it.

my new ongoing training starts may 8th and will take me up to my san antonio rock & roll half marathon training, starting july 7.

i feel like i should go buy supplies.  like, new nike tempo shorts or these by oiselle.

i DO need more shorts as one of the cats has started to chew on the drawstrings of several pairs and a few shorts have tiny cat teeth marks in them.  this wouldnt be such a problem if SOMEONE (mr. husband) didnt specifically set my shorts out so the cat can play with the drawstring. (*ahem*)

i have a great pair of sunglasses that i run in by nike but maybe i need a new pair by oakley so i can switch things up a tad..

i also need summer running tops and i need those more than i need shorts really.  i also suspect i will be hitting my mileage soon on my shoes.  at least before July so that means new brooks.  i may check out their Pure line and grab the cadence versus my ravenna’s — but the mileage wears out around 250 on the pure line (so i have heard).

so bring on the summer running.  i can use the pool as an ice bath, right?  i did buy a new bathing suit this past weekend after all…

ok.  enough of my shopping list.  i guess what i am getting at is it’s nice to be excited about something again.  and on that note, i will leave you with my most recent wifi shot.  hippie AND hippie2.4.

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hi!

30 Apr

so.  stuff.

i have had my little hiatus, which in honesty is still going on until the 8th when i begin my new training. i am seriously looking forward to this training and it feels really good to say so.

my hip feels fair.  significantly better than it has and i have a good week to rehab it up and continue to rest it and just elliptical the days away.  i am still aware of the discomfort but it’s better.  there has been improvement.

i am in a much better place mentally, too.   this past week, i took friday off to have a long weekend.  it was really great.  i spent friday with my husband, then the bulk of the weekend with my best friend at the pool then had a lazy sunday with el hubs.

i ate a lot of gluten free pizza.

(a lot of pizza)

the hubs and i visited a gluten free food trailer up in north austin.

this, folks — is a gluten free chocolate chip scone and cookie from lembas austin.  It’s a gluten free, grain free bakery and food trailer.  this was DELICIOUS.  we bought an extra cookie and i kinda wish i had it right now.

so, yeah.  my reset was great.  i spent a lot of time with my love, my best friend, and my couch.  i am ready to get this party started – bring on the texas heat.

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